Dumpster Dive #13: Birdwatching

Can you smell the sweet scent of bin juice? You’ve stumbled upon Dumpster Dive, where we scrape the bottom of the barrel for decks to take to your next Commoner gig! Join us as we sift through the dregs for decklists that are kick-ass, giga-brain, or sometimes just downright deranged. Despite the limited card pool, we’ve only scratched the surface of what the world of budget beatdowns has to offer… If you’re willing to get your hands dirty!

WELCOME BACK TO THE DUMPSTER!!!

It's been a little quiet on the Commoner front as of late, largely due to the advent of Project Blue and the non-stop scramble of the playerbase to figure out how to beat dominated arrows for 16. There are big plans in store for Project Blue, but obviously the most important one, the question that's on everyone's minds—will we ever see Project Blue in Dumpster Dive?

In short, yes. But there's more. When I initially set out to publish this series I had one goal in mind—see what you could cook with the most basic ingredients. And while there have been some truly stunning dishes, there's only so many Talishar decks a man can look at before he realises he needs to search for a deeper meaning in life.

So, with Smash Palace on the horizon, I'm happy to announce a new evolution of Dumpster Dive. Moving forward, not only are we accepting Commoner and Project Blue decks, I'm also finally inviting our cousins over at Ultimate Pit Fight. I'm opening the floodgates. Please don't make me regret it.

Righto, let's scrounge for our next Landfill Legend...

Whenever, Wherever

For those of you unfamiliar with Shakira's discography, Anthony Galleran has put together a crash course for you in the form of a Nuu deck that only contains cards with the words "Whenever" and "Wherever". The only problem is... outside of the flavour text on Macho Grande there isn't a Commoner-legal card that contains the text "Wherever", whereas "Whenever" is a term that occurs frequently in Flesh and Blood card text. I guess those hips lied after all...

Of course there's only one equipment piece. OF COURSE THERE ARE NO WEAPONS. Anthony has tried to justify this decision by writing in his submission that there's plenty of sideboard space. Great, man. Awesome. Whenever, wherever, this deck and my eyes are NOT meant to be together.

Laws of Aviation

I know today's gag pic was about unsolicited Commoner decklists when I literally have a submission form set up to accept them, but let's make something very clear. I do NOT under any circumstances accept Commoner decklists that are sent to me on social media, or god forbid, in person. Except for this ONE TIME. This is a deck that features only cards with birds in the artwork, and yes, it's not the first time we've seen this gimmick on Dumpster Dive. But I just had to feature it due to the sheer effort that went into validating this deck's claims.

Digl Dixon messaged me out of the blue one day, rambling like a madman, throwing around buzzwords like "adequate biodiversity" and "ornithophile's daydream", along with nearly two pages of gameplay tips and sideboard notes. Imma be real with you chief, I didn't read any of that. What interested me more was this notion that there were birds on Mini Forcefield. Digl claimed it was the white tick-shaped smudge towards the top of the card, but I was skeptical. I figured that with no way to confirm the presence of a bird, the deck couldn't be validated, and that would be the last I would hear about it.

Three days later Digl messaged me again, this time with a statement from the artist confirming the object was indeed of avian nature. Bird spotted!

Dang

Dori + Fang = Dang. It's a Dorinthea deck that's cosplaying a Fang deck using Quicksilver Daggers. There's really not much more you need to know, except for the fact that Marina Swanson planned out Dori and Fang's entire wedding ceremony in their submission, which apparently features Majin Bae as the flower boy??

As someone who also suffers from brainrot I appreciated that the explanations for certain card choices didn't come down to how well the card synergised with the core gameplan, but rather reasons like "Scar Tissue sounds like a sneeze, so it's funny, so it's in here." Thank goodness you told us it was funny, Marina, otherwise we might never have known!

And now… The moment you’ve all been waiting for…

Our twelfth Landfill Legend…

For flying above expectations...

DIGL DIXON!

Congratulations, Digl. You don’t win anything, but if you play the ambient sound of a crowd cheering in the background it will feel like you’ve won a prize. But seriously folks, don't bother artists unless you're just complimenting their work. Squawk.

To the rest of you, have you got what it takes to make Cadaverous Contraband Uzuri a threat worth getting a restraining order against? Have you been taking home the bacon with Moon Wish Sun Kiss Verdance? Does your reds-only Iyslander deck go harder than eating shredded cheese straight out of the bag at 3AM? Submit your deck to the form below and you could become the next Landfill Legend!

I’m going to go wash my hands now… catch you in the next Dumpster Dive!